How to Clarify Your Purpose

As someone who's highly familiar with the dark terrain of the underworld, I've met my share of sexual trauma, ancestral wounds, body image dysmorphia, eating disorders, dysfunctional family dynamics and harmful communication patterns. 

I was born days before the Winter Solstice, which encapsulates both my life's challenges and gifts - the darkest of the dark just before the dawn of the light of hope and renewal.

While I once saw it as a curse, it's actually always been a blessing - this meeting of myself in ancient cycles of trauma passed down through my bloodline by a highly confused culture. 

I was sixteen years old, lying on the floor amidst my own vomit, holding a sharp knife to my vein, when the Goddess came to me and asked me to make a choice - life or death. 

It was in that moment that my life's work began - the challenge to choose life over death, bravery over anxiety, healing over depression, sobriety over checking out, to feel the intensity of collective grief, sadness and anger instead of repressing them until they came out as violence against myself and others.

This is when my life began.

This is what I came here to do. 

This was the birth of my talent, my gift, my service.

 Want to know what your purpose is? 

Want to know how to serve this precious world and her people?

Go to your deepest pain.

Naturally, it's become my work to walk alongside women who've lost their way, in ways small and large, amidst the maze of cultural oppression, overwork and the inhumane demands of holding all the pieces together - work, motherhood, partnership, sex. The wrist I once threatened to sever has become the gentle hand leading towards the tunnel of redemption, pleasure, purpose, success.

Over the course of the last couple thousands of years of oppression on Planet Earth, women have been actively denied our sacred practices until we forgot them completely. The ancient rites of passage, rooted in the singular anatomy of the feminine body, were designed to resource us to meet the inevitable dark nights of the soul that are part of the unique experience of becoming a woman - passing through the sacred gateways of menarche, motherhood, perimenopause and menopause.

Once these experiences were portals into a deeper level of power, sovereignty and immense respect from ourselves and our community. In the absence of women's tradition, they've become gateways into overwhelm.

Instead of meeting the immensity of our own soul calling us to awaken, we've been asked to continue business as usual, playing superwoman, prioritizing the never-ending needs of the world around us versus our own yearning for more - for a taste of our own deeper truth and purpose.

No one ever taught me to be a woman. 

How about you?

Sure, I had a loving mother who did the best she could but no matter where I looked over the years did I find a model of an integrated, awakened, sensually alive Queen fully and confidently inhabiting her aging body, her femininity, her sexuality and her power with love through the inevitable ups and downs of life.

It is through my work, study and practice as a Priestess in the ancient Celtic line that I've come to uncover the women's rites and the secrets hidden within the feminine womb that were denied to me and my generation.

It is on the cusp of this New Year of possibility and in devotion to the healing power of the feminine that I state my life's mission now.

On the day of her choosing, the Goddess will take me back to wherever I came from. 

When I leave this beautiful Earth, I leave in my wake a generation of awakening women who are deep in the never-ending, joyful process of uncovering the sacred rites of feminine truth within.

✨ These are MOTHERS who pass their loving power, integrity and respect for life onto their children

✨ These are CEOs who gift their immense compassion and balance to their colleagues, making decisions that benefit the Earth and her people

✨ These are LOVERS who initiate their partners with the unimaginable healing, pleasure and renewal that is only available through sex as a spiritual union

✨ These are WISE ELDERS who fully inhabit the throne of their own passion, devotion and service.

This is the world I choose to create this year 

I use my power to create by giving my vision attention, intention and life force every single day through my breath, my thoughts, my prayers and my action.

How has your deepest pain transformed into your deepest purpose? Where is that current happening in your life, butterfly?